I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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