if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
