Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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