pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
