Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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