Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
