I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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