2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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