The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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