By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
