Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
