Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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