just tell him i said nine months
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
