Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
