I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
