Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
