I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
