can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
