loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
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Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
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Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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