In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
