I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
