How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
