I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
