Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
