so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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