do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
