I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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