ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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