Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
