I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have already put on my inside pants.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
