And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize