____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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