I just made out with a guy for $7.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
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since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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