If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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