Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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