he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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