I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think I won the penis lottery.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
