just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
