We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
