I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
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I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
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We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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