i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
