he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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