an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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