Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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