why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You smell like stripper and shame
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
