Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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