My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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