Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
