Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm passing your future prison.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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