did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
