PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
