I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦â€
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
