theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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