Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
this is an emotional support booty call
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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