This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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