I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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