Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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