i permit you to call me
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Who died my cat blue again?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
