So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
3 2 1 whiskey
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
