just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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