you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
