bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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